VISITING THE CLIENTS

In my travels I have visited many corporate headquarters. I have noticed some interesting characteristics about many.

Samsonite’s headquarters is on wheels.

Everyone at Nutra Sweet seemed so artificial.

There’s a strange blue light over the K-Mart building.

Sony’s building is in a remote location.

Seagram’s building is on 5th Avenue.

The NRA building is all lobby.

Campbell Soup’s offices are highly condensed.

When I visited Delta, they lost my briefcase.

Kelly Services was in temporary space.

Only the outside of Revlon’s building was attractive.

Microsoft’s building has no windows.

DeBeer’s has plenty of windows, but they were all scratched up.

All the windows at Windex were clean, but you could smell the vinegar.

Xerox occupies identical twin towers.

Cannon looked like Xerox, only cheaper.

United Airline’s lobby was full of Hare Chrishna’s.

Dunkin Donut’s headquarters was full of cops.

Intel’s building is inside IBM.

I wasn’t fonda Ted Turner’s building.

At Casio I met the boss.

The Rolex building was a cheap imitation.

Otis Elevator is in a one-story building.

At Dow Jones you never know if the elevators are going to go up or down.

At Merrill Lynch the employees stand around and bet if they are going to go up or down.

At Pepto Bismol they only go down. And stay down.

Everyone at Intel had chips on their shoulders.

AT&T is always busy.

Baskin Robbins has 31 floors. All the nuts are on top.

Standard & Poors is highly over rated.

The layout at Hallmark has no rhyme or reason.

MacDonald’s headquarters is no great shakes.

Arthur Andersen’s has no accounting for taste.

Kentucky Fried Chicken’s H.Q. has two wings.

American Express had to try several buildings before somebody would take them.

3 M’s building is tacky.

National Enquirer has many stores, but most of them are false.

The Clorex building has faded.

Descriptions of Goodyear’s building are highly inflated.

The people next door told me “State Farm is there, but they’re not a good neighbor.”

Pillsbury is in a high rise. It cost a lot of dough.

Nike’s building has no arches.

Floresheim’s building has no soul.

There were no kids allowed in the Planned Parenthood building.

Snap On’s building is on the beltway.

Nobody doesn’t like Sara Lee’s building.

There’s this crazy dog in front of the Coppertone building that keeps pulling everyone’s pants down.

Copyright ©1994 Phil Simborg